**ONLY AJ PAST THIS POINT**

 

A. OUR PLAN

  1. Find out what people are scared of.
  2. Make people even more scared of those things.
  3. Develop products that protect people against those things.
  4. Sell those products to the people who are scared.
  5. Hire essay writing service to write about it
  6. Get rich as hell.
  7. Figure out the rest. (Maybe a boat or a movie deal or something?)

B. SUB-PLAN: WEAPONIZE “PC CULTURE”

  1.  Connect the issue to the First Amendment.
  2. Treat any request for thoughtful speech as an assault on Constitution.
  3. Accuse people who want to use different words of being sensitive and whiny.
  4. Respond to everything they do by being sensitive and whiny.
  5. …Thereby using sensitivity and whininess as both a weapon and a shield.
  6. Find violent issues and blame them on people who want nicer speech, making PC
  7. CULTURE the cause of terrorism.

C. NOTES FROM BRAINSTORM

  • Research bots. Make bots? (Ask Janet’s nephew.)
  • Open-carry office?
  • What are more fringe, dogs or cats?
  • Figure out which “Star Wars” movies are anti-Trump, then boycott them.
  • Hire 12-year-olds to make memes. (Again, could Janet’s nephew help with this??)
  • Find out if the funny guy from “Silicon Valley” is liberal (would be a shame).

D. PERSONAL TO-DO’s

  1. Spruce up bunker.
  2. Send thank-you note to aunt Kathy (for the quilt).
  3. Brunch with my homies.
  4. Find people to be my homies.
  5. Figure out why I sweat through my shirts by 11am every day.
  6. Return pizza maker to Crate and Barrel (impractical in apocalypse scenario).
  7. Start bottling urine just in case.
  8. Start online college.
  9. Lift weights – kettlebells?
  10. SCREENPLAY!

E. BONDING EXERCISES (How is late October?)

  • Ropes course weekend.
  • Red ball, yellow ball, that’s not a ball – who told you that was a ball?
  • American karaoke.
  • Distrust falls.